Thursday, October 24, 2013

True Life's Passion


I often get asked why am I always so positive. I get thanked for being an inspiration, for being upbeat, for being supportive, for listening and for always being there. I realized today after reading an email from an old friend that maybe that’s why I’m here.

You always watch shows or read stories of people finding their true life’s passion, their “calling.” I would watch them and wonder about mine. How could I find mine? I read articles and answered questions that were supposed to help you find it, but never came up with anything. 

I’m a teacher by trade. I truly love what I do and have a passion for wanting to help kids. My principal and friend once told me that she could see me as a counselor. Truth be told, one of the things I love the most about my job, is trying to help children become passionate about their lives. I put my heart into working with them and die a little when I see them making the wrong choices because I know that’s not who they want to be.  There is so much good in the world, but for some reason, the older we get, the more we forget. Then we pass on that cynicism to our children. We take away so much of the true world, before their eyes are even open to see the beauty for themselves. 

When I’m in the group talking with my sisters, reading their updates, sharing my own, there is so much sadness for some of them that my heart breaks and I wish I could swoop in and fix them all. They are the best ladies that I could have ever asked to be in my life. I’ve always wanted a sister, and was blessed with a beautiful sister in law and so many pink sisters, so when I see one hurt I take in their pain. 

Last night, I had a sister share with us that she had just signed up for hospice care. I read the post and it was one of those posts that I just had to step away from because I couldn’t believe it. I don’t think I wanted to believe it. I thought about her a lot last night. This morning, I looked at the post just to make sure it was really there. Then I read Anthony’s email and thought about Heidi’s comments and this is what I know:

I know that when I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer it took a while, but I came to terms with the possibility that I could die. I cried thinking about my husband, children and family and what I would miss being a part of. I was so angry that I kicked and hit things, but I accepted it and handed it over.

Then I took what I could into my hands.
For each moment that I’m here, I will find the beauty in our world.
Each moment I have with my family, I will love them and enjoy them and laugh with them and argue with them and make memories with them.
Each day that I teach, I will see the joy and spark in a child’s eye. I will make sure they know that they are so loved by me. I will do everything I can to protect them and make them feel as safe as I can while they are in school. They will know unconditional love.
Each conversation I have with my sisters and brothers, they will know that I love them, that I’m praying for them, that they have touched my life in an amazing way and that they will be in my heart for always. 

So I thank you for telling me how positive I am. Thank you for letting me know that I’m an inspiration. Thank you for helping me realize my dream and my true life’s passion. For that I’m grateful to you.

2 comments:

  1. Angie, you are a true inspiration for us all - not merely those of us dealing with cancer, but all of us who are dealing with life. Thank you for being you. xx

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